Saturday, August 20, 2016

Grief Happens

My last post described the pain, expectations, joy, ups and downs that define the process of waiting.  I waited a long time, more than a month while my love slept in a world I could not reach. I was hopeful as long as I could be. In the end, with "Code Blue" ringing in my ears I had to let go. It took me that long to "turn it over" and ask for God's will to be done. Even though my mind always knew to ask for "His" highest and best to prevail, I was so afraid, and held on tightly to having it my way until it was completely  futile to do so. The "code blue" procession stopped at my husband's door, literally.

I dropped to the floor. No cares for my dignity, as my heart split wide open.

The waiting was over and it did not end well. Now two months later, I am on my feet again and finding my way through this huge transition. I may write a bit about it here from time to time, or I may not. This is just where I am today....sharing the end of the waiting.

4 comments:

  1. Sending all the hugs and prayers I have my friend. xo B

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  2. Sandra,

    Your writing is moving and beautiful, even about a very sad time in your life. Loss is awful but I believe it is a gift to have the ability to express your joy and your pain. My sisters and I did not have a very healthy childhood but all four of us have written eloquently about how we survived. You have a gift and I thank you for sharing it.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. My grief is still very fresh and writing about it occasionally just happens. Your post on your mother was very moving too. I surely want to think she heard you, just as I hope my husband heard me. All the best.

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