Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween and Evil Snakes

One thing I know for sure.  If I had been Eve in the Garden of Eden I would not have been talking to a snake.  You have to get close to one to see its face and have a conversation and "that ain't happenin'", as they say.  But it happened today.  I mean I got close enough to a snake to have a conversation!  I saw his eyeballs while he was sticking his tongue out at me and shaking it like he was telling me off!  He had his little tale in a wad and was shaking it at me too.  I'm thinking, "Snake, get off of my property or you will be sorry!  We are not about to have a conversation about it,  Just go."

Needless to say he did not go.  When I opened the front door to leave mother's house and return home there was this snake, all curled up with his triangular shaped head inside the storm door, trying to slither right on into the house.  Well, let me tell you.  If he had slithered into mother's home it would be one for the books.  He would be sorry he ever considered it.  She would have hit the alarm and her local fire and police would have been there before he could have said "hiss"!  I know that because every now and then they show up. They are great alarm responders!  I can vouch for them!

But he got me instead of mother.  I decided it was probably a rattlesnake because it had diamonds on its back and I wasn't giving it the benefit of the doubt.  Elaine, mother's angel from heaven,  conspired with me for a moment after we finished screaming, and I chopped his head off with a shovel.  It hurt my heart, but 'ya gotta do what ya gotta do'.  I did it. I am woman, hear me roar.

So I guess the moral of this very true story is this.  Do not show up at my front door if you are a snake. Especially on Halloween.  I mean, "Really!!!"  Do not even think about trying to get me to eat an apple.  Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaze!  It is out of the question that I would even talk to you.  Me, a person who would pick up a bug and take it outside rather than kill it, will chop your head off with a shovel, spill your blood on the sidewalk, and not think twice about it.

Happy Halloween!

24 comments:

  1. OH MY GOSH!! THAT gave me the chills!! I thought I heard a roar earlier! Must have been you! You go! You ROCK!!

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  2. We get little grass snakes and Adders here in England. They lie on the rocks and sunbathe when it is hot. We just leave them alone, and they don't bother us! I hate snakes though! I have a friend who keeps some in a tank. They fascinate me though, especially when they start to shed their skins. But as me to hold one, and I'd run a mile!

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  4. I would be freaking out! I am so scared of snakes!

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  5. Hi Sandra, gave me chills reading this! We don't get rattle snakes here but what nerve of it to just curl up all cozy on your doorstep like that. What a woman to have taken care of it yourself. Me? I'd still be hiding under the bed!

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  6. Menopausal New Mom, Thanks for the visit. Real menopause takes some stuff away but it gives you real balls!!!

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  7. Thanks KaLynn...It was really me screaming, not roaring!!! At least it started with screaming!Can't help it when a snake is practically sitting on your foot! And I had on sandals!

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  8. Alice, I wish it had been just a little lizard or a garden snake but nooooooooo it had be a serious snake! Thanks for the visit!

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  9. Kys, Believe me, I was doin' some freakin' out!!!

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  10. a good snake is a dead snake. good ridden! and happy halloween.

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  11. Miss Sandra, I hope you saved the skin for a pair of boots, and the meat, taste like chicken. lol
    BIG HUGS

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  12. Dang Bob! Should've saved that skin! Yeah right! I can just see that happening. :)

    Sarah, You are so right. Couldn't have said it better myself!

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  13. Now THAT is funny and a great post! I so enjoyed reading it ...... I Am Woman made me laugh! Good for you..

    Thanks for coming by my blog.... I so love meeting new people.. I have a second blog called Samaritan Women.... I have a link on the Life At My House..... come by and read a bit when you have time........ I am coming back here often...... It is a great blog......

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  14. Hi
    I wish so bad i could say it wasnt real, I want to say so bad I had parents to love me and wanted me. but i cant, My one Aunt and two uncles can tell you it was true there my father bother and sister

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  15. Janice, I am sorry. I think writing will help you move forward. You show a lot of initiative. You have a lot of support too.

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  16. So DAMMMM glad I'm not a snake! Or AM I? How would I know? Hmmmmmmm?

    Coil me up and take me home, but leave my head on pleeeeeze!

    Hssssssssss!

    Feel kinda silly tonight. Thank you for dropping by my place and commenting. Glad to see you, Sandra!

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  17. Silly is good sometimes. I promise not to chop off your head! :)

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  18. Sandra, you are on my blogroll, and I became a follower of yours...however, mt avatar did not appear. As if it matters --grin!
    But the numbers did move from
    82 to 83. Jus sayin'. Notice you don't post every day, OK. But I'll be "Bach" when you do. thanks for the visit this Sunday!

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  19. Okay, I hate snakes so much I had to quickly scroll down so I didn't have to look at the picture! I'm such a baby when it comes to snakes! I am woman hear me roar is right! You have more hutspa than I would! You go girl!

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  20. Thanks for the follow Steve. I am already following you too. Come anytime...door's always

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  21. TaterTotMom, I hate them too. It was traumatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  22. Steve, Your Avatar showed up! Yea!

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  23. TMH, You have to get fierce sometimes whether you want to or not!!! :)

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