Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Focus On What You Want

Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.  A great teacher told me that once.

I don't know about you but when things aren't going right I tend to think about that a lot.  I go over all the possibilities, what could happen, what might have already happen, oh my gosh, what will we do!  Have you ever been expecting someone to come home at night and they were late?  Have you ever called the hospital to make sure they're not there or conjured up all sorts of scenarios about what could have happened?

Like waiting to hear back from a mammogram.  You come home from work and finally there is a message from your doctor's office.  The nurse says, "Your results are in.  Please call the office at your earliest convenience."  It's after 5:00 so you have to wait till tomorrow to call.  "Well, if everything was okay she would have just said that", you say to yourself.  "Why didn't she just say everything was alright?  Something must be wrong.  Oh no."  Can't sleep all night thinking about it.

Your husband or teenager said he would be home by 9:00.  Now it's 10:00.  Where the heck is he?  It's snowing outside and getting icy.  Oh no, he's probably had an accident.  Or he could be stranded somewhere.  It would be awful if he ran out of gas in this weather.  I know he was tired this morning.  What if he gets sleepy and doesn't watch the road? 

My boss looked at me funny.  I know there are more layoffs coming tomorrow.  What if it's me?  I only have enough savings for 2 months and there are no jobs out there.  Oh no!  Susie will have to quit dance and we can't pay the mortgage.  How will we do Christmas?

Makes me tired just thinking about it.  There was a time when I thought like this...not all the time but on occasions when things weren't going according to plan.  I focused my thoughts, unconciously, on what I did not want.  Finally I learned about "focusing on what you want".  Have you noticed that what you focus on expands?  That you actually get more of that which occupies your thoughts?  If you build something up in your mind you give it energy and it takes on a life of its own.  Before you know it you have created a monster....Or you can create good. 

Instead try focusing on what you want, not what you don't want.  Even when it seems contrary to reality.  See the best outcome.  Think about good things happening.  Expect good news from that medical test before you even go to have it.  No matter when they call and what message they leave, expect only good results.  If your husband is late, rather than expecting bad things to have happened, just hold the thought that all is well.  Don't try to figure it out.  If your boss looks at you funny, smile back.  There could be lots of reasons he is looking at you.  Assume the best.  Maybe a raise?  If you do get laid off, you will deal with it then, not before in the imaginary playground of your mind.

I'm not talking about going into denial.  I'm just saying that when your mind takes off on its own in a direction that brings you pain or angst, rein it back in.  Send it in a different direction.  See the best, expect the best.  What you focus on does expand so make sure your focus is where you want it to be.

All is well.

Sandra

11 comments:

  1. I do that from time to time, but it's more of a game. I figure if I create the worst case scenario then the odds of it happening are much lower - yeah, I'm the daughter of a gambler - it's all about the odds.

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  2. i do this all the time - it's a little thing i like to call DENYING MY OWN REALITY - HA! but it works for me

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  3. Oh man - what a GREAT thought for today!!! =)
    I tend to do this in dating. Find a guy I like, and then start waiting for the other shoe to drop! and it usually does... wanna know why - cause I FOCUS on what "could" go wrong and usually will it into reality! I know I do this and trust me when I say, I'm REALLY working on changing it ;)

    GREAT post! THANKS! =)

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  4. Miss Sandra,
    Focus, I tihnk this is some alien bug thet travels the uni-verse somewheres else, my magination takes over and wow, aliens landin and ever thing.
    HUGS

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  5. sometimes the unknown is the scariest. i can certainly relate to it.

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  6. I used to think if I imagined the worst, it wouldn't happen. Now I believe if I imagine the worst, it is ever so much more likely to happen! LOL.
    Sandra

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  7. Great post! I am a chronic over thinker so much so that I scare myself thinking about what could happen. It doesn't help that I love all those scary crime shows and horror movies! Even when it comes to everyday things I have trouble sleeping because I can't get my mind to shut off.

    Great advice to focus on what you want to happen. I'll have to try that.

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  8. Great advice that I need to remember :0)

    Visiting you from SITS today--have a wonderful day!

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  9. I loved this post. I actually really needed to hear exactly what you said right this moment.

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  10. Thanks for stopping by and you're right. We have a LOT in common! I try to live my life focussing only on positive outcomes. I have moments of panic now and then but am getting pretty good at redirecting my thoughts.

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  11. I like that. I always think it is best to keep positive and only deal with the bad stuff if it actually happens rather than worrying about something that might never happen

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