Monday, August 24, 2009

One Child Missing From Home

Don't worry. This child isn't really missing but has just gone off to college for the first time. Chances are you drove them, helped them bring in their stuff and get settled, and then said goodbye. How did that go? If it was just a few days ago you might have a few crocodile tears as you read this. If it's been awhile, and you're over it, you are probably smiling and beginning to enjoy your own well deserved freedom.

I remember when I left home for college so long ago. I was a mess. We stopped at a drugstore close to home to pick up a few last minute items and, thankfully, a good friend from high school was there. I begged her to come with us and she did! She was funny and kept me laughing in the back seat, distracting me from the intensity of that drive with my parents. The leaving part was very hard for me...but five minutes after they left, I was happy, happy, happy. A whole new world had just opened up. And I was free.

When we took our kids to a small private college in the N. GA mountains there was no Internet to guide you through this experience. You just had to wing it. I remember it like it was yesterday. I knew they would love their new life. I was happy for them, and yet, I cried on the way home just because we would miss them...

Dr. Michelle Borba has 9 Tips For Saying Goodbye if you want to read them. One I particularly liked was to 'switch your role from micro-manager to mentor'. "Help your child to sense this by your actions", she says. "Don't be too quick to fix things. Gently cut the umbilical cord so they will know that you will no longer intervene when problems arise." Hmmmm. Good advice but easier said than done. First you have to get yourself to know that. Good luck with that one.

6 comments:

  1. It is hard to cut the apron strings and let them go on their own. My daughter went to college as a freshman last week and it was tought on me. Her room is empty and the house is quiet.

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  2. Suzanne,
    Thanks for stopping by. You don't say if you are married or not but now it is time for you. It will take time to adjust but you will. Your daughter will be fine. Stay in touch as much as she wants.

    Sandra

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  3. my favorite was the partin message, i won't print that here, jk.

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  4. I go with Mrs.W that she is true What ever she said is right.

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  5. Thanks Spanish Courses for dropping by and agreeing with me. Bob and I love to kid around! LOL!

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